Thursday, December 24, 2009

Boom Boom Pow! ???????


Pardon me for the sullen mood lately. Am not suppose to feel like this when its Christmas and everybody is festive and happy and celebrating. I feel like a total shit right now but I know this shall pass soon. I have made some serious mistakes in the past like choosing to love someone who cannot love you the same way back....someone who chooses to let his fear take over his life...someone who is amazing and loving but very proud. :( I don't feel hate.....just complete sadness and disappointment....and a tinge of regret for everything.

I popped to the Zen garden today to think about things and stuff and what I should need to do to better myself. :( I am 24, depressed and derailed. I wish I have better judgment so I don't make the same mistakes over and over again. This Christmas, I wish for a peaceful state of mind, that's all. What's more important to me now are the people I really care about, to know where am heading, and to revive my carefree old self. I promised that I won't look for love....I believe it'll just come on it's own time, in it's own pace.

I also realized that long distance relationships are a total sore and they never work. Period.

To console my broken heart and bruised ego, I treated myself with a......ta dah!! SUPER PLATTER MEAL!! Screw the scale! :) yumyumyum!

And spent 2 hours sitting in this horrid traffic jam!! ugh! My arse was literally aching!

Anywaaaaaaaay, one more day to go before Christmas. YAAAAAAYYY!! I dunno exactly what were doin on Christmas eve. I'll leave that up to my sister. But I hope everyone will have a fantastic holiday!! Am goin to the beach tomorrow night! Be back on Sunday.


Shibby said...

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time :( hugs!!!
WOW a zen garden I wish there was one near me to go reflect in :)
I'm glad you've had a good think and starting to find positives if only little things like food =) that looks very tastey :)
Happy christmas eve =)

daisychain said...

I do hope things pick up for you soon,
and I hope you manage to have a good christmas despite feeling so awful

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